So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
