1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
