that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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