Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
