But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
