I should be sponsored by Trojan
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
