Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize