So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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