I just cut my nipple shaving
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
