Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
jump out the window naked night went bad
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
