I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did i walk over a car last night?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
