the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
