Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize