I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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