My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
