I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
