idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
