you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
