She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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