So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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