sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
