he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize