I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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