Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I smell stomach acid.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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