I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
