then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Nicole vs. Life
...so i touched it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
