I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
