Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
