So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
