It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
