You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
