Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
