I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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