I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
