you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
