I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
