The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
