I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize