where am i from again
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
