This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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