Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize