he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
