What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
