you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
