I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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