wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
