Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
