jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
