I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
