i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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