So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
