yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
