Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
