How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
