one might say we're banned from that church
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
