i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
