Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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