the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize