Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
