Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
