Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
