i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
